Stressed and Exhausted

At last, I already finished the transcript of the last Committee meeting I attended after two months. But now, my body’s aching, hands are numb with pins and needles in my fingers, my vision is blurry and still I have so many things to do. I have to send the minutes of our meeting to our secretary tomorrow so we can send it to members on Monday.

There are times that I can still feel the earphones locked in my ears. My fingers are like shaking terribly and uncontrollable. Even in my dreams, transcribing is haunting me.

Last Wednesday, at the shuttle bus on my way to the office, I was sleeping (I still have one and a half hour to do that) when I had a dream. I was cramming to finish my transcript because I have to attend to my class after 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, I immediately went to my class and disappointingly, I can’t remember anything to say to my students. I was getting mad because I am telling my students so many things not related to our lesson for that day. After my class, I was so upset and I just wanted to quit teaching. When I was about to cry, I was saved from that pathetic situation by a little kid sitting beside me at the bus with his tantrums. Fortunately, I was just dreaming.

Hmm.. I do not know if I'm just stressed with my work, or I'm just excited to see my students on Saturday. But now, I'm just so exhausted and stressed-out. I think I'm gonna be sick.

sa huli

"Sa bandang huli, mapapansin mo rin na ang pinakaimportanteng yugto ng libro ay mababasa sa huling pahina nito.
Malalaman mo na ang buhay ay hindi paghihiganti at pagpapanggap kundi pagpapahalaga sa bawat bagay at taong iyong nakakasalamuha.
Ang sikreto ng masayang buhay ay nasusukat sa kung paano matututunan patawarin ang mga taong nakapinsala sa'yo, habang ipinagsisigawan ang kagalakan tuwing makukuha mong maungusan ang tila walang katapusang hirap sa mundo."

Show it, Prove it

"Ang diwa ng pag-ibig ay hindi naibabatay sa kung ano ang relasyon mo sa isang tao, kundi kung ano ang ginagawa mo upang mapatunayan ang nararamdaman mo.
Ang tunay na pagmamahal ay ibinabahagi ng walang pag-aalinlangan maging sino, at kung saang lupalop ka pa nagmula.
Hindi din ito dahil sa sex o anumang uri ng aksyon upang mapaligaya ang sarili at masabing masaya ka habang kasama siya.
Mas lalong hindi ito binibigkas kahit pa sa pinakamalalim na terminolohiya, retorika at mabulaklak na pananalita.
Sa halip, ito ay ipanapakita at pinapakatotohanan."

First Week of School

Angel started her schooling in Barasaoian Memorial Elementary School as a kinder student. She was not really excited because the week prior to her first week of school, she was not interested of writing or reading. We always scare her by telling her that we will send her back to Pangasinan if she will not study. But she will always answer, "My siblings are not studying in Pangasinan. Why do you want to send me back?"

Anyway, on her second day in school, she got her first star because she answered her teacher in English. Affirming her gender, she said, "I am a girl." She had a perfect score in her coloring book on the third day, giving her her second star. She had her third star on the fourth day when she connected the dots properly.

Angel's first week of school is fun not only for Angel but also for me. Despite of spending money for her tuition and uniform and school supplies, I enjoyed dressing her up, covering her books and notebooks, and testing my patience with her question-filled stories every afternoon.

1111

It feels good not being committed into a relationship..
No crying moments..
No mind-bugging quarrels..
No partner to think about..
But it feels better when you have someone taking care of you, thinking about you, honestly, sweetly, faithfully and securely loving you..

I miss no one..
I just miss the feeling of being taken cared by a special someone..

--it's been one thousand one hundred eleven days since I lost my last relationship.

Ikaw ang Pinaka

"Sa dinami-dami ng tala sa kalangitan, ikaw ang pinakamakinang..
Ikaw ang namumukod tangi..
Ikaw ang bumubuo sa bawat constellation ng bituin..
Ikaw ang pinakamaliit sa pagkakatanaw ko..
Dahil ikaw ang pinakamalayo.. pinakamahirap.. pinakaimposibleng masungkit.."

Ikaw Lang

"Ikaw ang iniisip ko sa magdamag..
Ikaw ang ngiti ng mata at labi ko..
Ikaw ang unan ko sa pagtulog..
Ikaw ang gutom ko sa almusal hanggang hapunan.
Ikaw ang uhaw ko..
Ikaw ang puyat ko sa gabi..
Ikaw na lang ang kilala ko..
Ikaw lang ang nakikita ko..
Ikaw lang ang gusto ko.."

Ikaw ang Lunas

"Gusto ko ipagmalaki na ikaw ang gusto ko.
Inangkin mo ang puso ko sa iksi ng panahon mula ng tayo ay pinagtagpo.
Ninakawan mo ako ng katinuan.
Binigyan mo ako ng sakit na ikaw lang din ang lunas."

Pinili Kita

"Kung ako'y babagsak, gusto ko sa mundo mo.
Masaya ako na pinili kong masaktan, pinili kong lumuha.
Ito ay dahil pinili kita.
Nagsisisi lang ako hindi dahil sa ano ang nararamdaman ko.
Kundi dahil ngayon lang kita nakilala.."

kulungan

"Kung kasalanan nga ang mahalin ka, handa na akong magkasala.
Maging bihag sa mga naisin mo,

mabilanggo ng habang buhay,

at makipagbuno sa mga kakosa na naghahangad na mapako at magpakaugod-ugod sa kulungan mo."